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The Divorce
No one ever wins in a divorce. There are only fractured lives that need to recover and rebuild. We married in 2004 when our eldest daughter Andrea was 15 months old and then had Ashlee in 2006 staying together until August of 2011. I had reached my limit with his prioritizing his family’s citizenship over his wife and children’s needs, and asked him to leave. This represented the culmination of seven years of having his parents and siblings actually physically living with us as they immigrated from Peru. This constant state of disruption took its toll on me and the girls, as he became increasingly abusive with his verbal assaults every time I confronted him with my feelings. Finally, I asked him to leave and get his own place. I went so far as to attempt to co-habitate until he could save up some money to move out, but he couldn’t seem to make any progress. That’s when I insisted he leave, so he moved in with his brother.
He worked two jobs, both as a server in two different restaurants. We verbally agreed to a visitation schedule based on his work schedule. Also, I would let him have parenting time on my weekends with the girls because I knew how hard this was on them. I made sure they called him every night to say good night and in the morning on the way to school to say good morning. (To be honest this was the most my kids had seen and talked to them their whole lives.) this continued for seven months, as we lived with this arrangement. We attended counseling as a means of understanding how to parent through this stressful time for the girls. I had made it abundantly clear, that his broken promises of the past had left me with little hope of any reconciliation. This infuriated him, and his verbal abuse escalated during this process. He attempted to use our children as a tool to retaliate against me by openly telling them how horrible he thought I was for wanting out of this marriage. I never once have said a negative word about him in their presence, and only wanted to move on with my life. My only mistake in all of that was reconnecting with someone from my past. I felt that by showing him I was moving on, he would attempt to do the same, and we could break this vicious cycle of hatred that was rapidly evolving. Little did I realize, that would be used as leverage against me to take away what matters most to me in this world, my precious little girls. I’m no longer involved with anyone, and have no intentions of doing so until I can fight to return my children to my life in the way that best re-enforces my commitment to their well being!
4abettersomeday 
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